(no subject)

[asyka]

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly. "
In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

спасибо, sertoun

Comments

[filosof-io.livejournal.com]

MUST BE READ WITH ITALIAN ACCENT
One day Ima gonna to Detroit to a bigga hotel. Ina morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two piss’s toast. She bring me only one piss. I tella her I wanna two piss on my plate. She saya you better no piss on the plate, you sonna na bitch. I don’t even know the lady and she call me a sonna na bitch.
Later I go out to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress bring me a spoon and knife, but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tells me everyone wanna fock. I tella her: “You no understand. I wanna fock on the table.” She saya you better not fock on the table, you sonna na bitch.
So I go back to my room ina hotel and there isa no shits ona my bed. I colla the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tells me to go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on the bed. He say you better no shit on the bed, you sonna na bitch.
I go to the check out and the man at the desk say “Peace to You”. I say piss on you, too, you sonna na bitch. I gonna back to Italy.

[xptachh.livejournal.com]

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! 
Крррррасота. Единственное, что вспомнилось в тему — хохма про ruin sorbees (http://techsupt.winbatch.com/webcgi/webbatch.exe?techsupt/tfleft.web+Miscellaneous+Ruin~Sorbees.txt).

[aivolie.livejournal.com]

5 баллов!!!!!!
И раз уж пошла тема анекдотов на английском, могу добавть это.

- bоу, I nееd sоmе оniоn.
- sоrrу, mаm, wе dоn’t hаvе оniоn аt thе mоmеnt.
- I dоn’t саrе, I nееd sоmе оniоn.
- but mаm, wе dоn’t hаvе оniоn in thе mаrkеt right nоw.
- уоu dоn’t undеrstаnd mе, I nееd sоmе оniоn.
- wеll, mаm, lеts сhесk уоur еnglish. Ноw mаnу lеttеrs «р» in thе wоrd «аррlе»?
- twо.
- right, mаm. аnd hоw mаnу lеttеrs «t» in thе wоrd «lеttеr»?
- twо.
- right mаm. аnd hоw mаnу «f**k» in thе wоrd «оniоn»?
- but thеrе is nо «f**k» in «оniоn».
- right, mаm, thеrе is nо f**king оniоn.